Dr. Marlene Bizub, Psy.D., has been working in the court system for the last 23 years and has seen couples go through it all; including using their children to hurt the other parent. What can you do to prevent a situation like this if you’re separating from your partner or if your child is currently spending their time in separate households? Dr. Marlene has some timeless advice on how to act in the best interest of your children.
Key Takeaways
- What do teens really need when their parents live in separate households?
- What are some common mistakes parents make with their teen?
- Don't vent your partnership problems to your child!
- You could unintentionally be using your teen as a therapist. This puts a huge burden on their shoulders.
- What can you share with your teen?
- Remember, your teen isn't an adult yet developmentally. You need to give positive reinforcements that this is not their fault.
- Don't use your child as the messenger.
- Please avoid litigating parenting time.
- The decision about what to do with the kids does not need to be made by the court.
- It's so difficult to navigate this parenting space when living in different households. Don't make it more difficult than it needs to be.
- Your lawyers aren't there for the best interests of your children, they're there to protect you!
Resources:
- Marlenebizub.com
- drmarlene@marlenebizub.com
- Cell: (719) 641-5403
Quotes:
“The message you can convey is that it’s okay to love that other parent.”
“A parent going through a separation or divorce is often bitter or resentful. What should you share? Not a lot…unless it’s positive.”
“We don’t send messages through the children. They are not our messengers.”
