You are currently viewing S3 E:14 – Smoothing out the Middle School Roller Coaster of Ecstatic Doom

S3 E:14 – Smoothing out the Middle School Roller Coaster of Ecstatic Doom

David Samore hails from Sioux City, Iowa, fourth of five sons to immigrant parents.  After serving 18 years as the principal of a leading middle school in Palm Beach County, Florida, he served as the SDPBC Principal of Global Leadership and Innovation. Dr. Samore has been a teacher and administrator at elementary, middle and high schools for over 35 years.  He speaks five languages and earned the International Baccalaureate (IB) Diploma in Britain.  A major thrust of Samore’s work has been the creation of overseas opportunities for all learners, including students, faculty, and community.

Dr. Samore has just published his first book, Ecstatic Doom: The Adult’s Guide to Middle Schoolers (2023). He has also contributed articles to the leading educational leadership magazine of Spain, Supervisión 21 and to the 2018 Collier & Thomas book Transforming Secondary Education: Middle and High School Dual Language Programs. Samore’s future books are True Leadership: Why Common Sense and Open Arms Always Win (2023) and Avoiding Titanic: What Schools Can Do to Save the Sinking American Male (2024).

Key Takeaways

  • Bullying-all children will either be a victim or a bystander or both. Bullying begins early in a child’s life. Honest conversations with your kids: this is what it is, have they experienced it, and what to do about it.
  • It’s important for parents to talk with their teens about being proud of who they are and where they’ve come from. To help them feel strong and use language that helps them stand up for themselves when they are being bullied.
  • Parents can talk with their teens about how they might be perceived by a bully. What they say and do sends a message about who they are, and this can often make them vulnerable to a bully.
  • Teens can practice in front of a mirror or with mom, dad, and friends to say, “Stop doing that, I don’t like it.” in a firm and clear voice. Role-playing gives a teen a chance to get prepared.
  • Failure is necessary to learning and parents shouldn’t feel the need to protect their teens from failing. It’s going to happen. Don’t panic, keep calm. Stop, get a private moment with your teen and listen. Strategize with them on how they can handle it differently next time.
  • Know what kind of parent you are. The authoritative or the authoritarian parent.
  • Parents struggle with staying calm. Practice active listening with no other distractions. Repeat back to your teen what you think you heard them say.
  • Raising a good teen takes time and lots of practice. Keep the communication open and clear.
  • Inconsistency in raising your child can lead to disrespectful behavior towards you as they get older.
  • Say what you mean and mean what you say. You are modeling behavior for your teen.
  • You won’t be your teens friend; they need you to be their parent.

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